When separating from your partner, you might spend a lot of time trying to decide on how to share parenting roles and parenting rights. One of your greatest concerns is how well your children will adjust to the parenting decision you make. Will they enjoy moving from house to house with a 50/50 split? If one parent retains custody, will they miss the other parent too much?
There is no one-size-fits-all answer for whether children adapt well to shared parenting, but the data suggests that children prefer access to both parents. One PBS article explains that children are very adaptable but consistency between households is key.
Parenting relationships play a role
When you lived together, did you and your ex share the same parenting approach? If the approaches were different, were they at least compatible? This might give you some idea of what kind of parent they will become, but parents often change strategies when they can make their own decisions in their own homes.
Personal traits vary
Some children welcome change with open arms. They feel excited to move to new places or take a road trip across the country to see grandparents and visit national parks. Then, there are those who prefer set routines and do not welcome change at all. Take some time to determine where each child fits into that spectrum.
Communication is key
Communicating and coordinating is crucial in increasing the chances of children adjusting quickly and adjusting well. If you and your ex are constantly forgetting who is responsible for what and when, this will only add stress to the children’s lives. Communicate often and well and coordinate as seamlessly as possible.
Even within the same household, your children may adjust to the divorce differently. Treat them as individuals and find ways to support them on the new journey they have embarked on.